THIS post ‘Raising kids; How to stay sane when they play the attorney’ is strictly your business. As you know, there comes a moment in every mom’s ‘raising kids’ period when your sweet little child—who once drooled on your shoulder and cried because their sock was “too socky”—suddenly starts arguing like a Harvard-trained attorney.
And guess what? You lose.
“Why do I have to shower today if I did yesterday?”
“Technically, I didn’t promise to clean my room. I said I’d try.“
“My tablet isn’t screen time—it’s digital learning.“
Sound familiar?
If your child has reached the stage where they can out-argue your logic before breakfast, congratulations: you’re raising a thinker. Also, I’m sorry.
But then, you’ll always survive the period.
So, here are a few survival tips for moms raising the next generation of professional negotiators. Had seen my wife got away with everything with them. Trust me, you’ll find them useful.
1. Stay Calm. You’re the Judge.
Don’t get lured into their courtroom tactics. You are not on trial. You are the judge, the jury, and sometimes the bailiff who has to carry them to bed. Judges don’t lose their cool when a lawyer gets dramatic—they simply adjust their glasses, take a slow sip of water, and wait for the noise to settle.
Same with you: take a breath, keep your voice even, and let them present their case (even if it’s about eating ice cream for dinner). Calm authority sends the message that you’re in charge of the proceedings—no matter how many objections they raise.
2. Close the Loopholes Before They Find Them
Kids are natural-born lawyers—if you leave a crack in the rule, they’ll wiggle through it. Don’t just say, “No screens after dinner” , instead say “No screens after dinner—even if your homework is done, the moon looks amazing, or your cousin just texted from Disneyland.” It’s like adding a legal disclaimer to your parenting—because they’ll find the loophole if you don’t (You only said ‘No screen after dinner’, you didn’t say I can’t watch a movie in your room).
When you make a rule, run it through the “What if…” test before they do. The fewer the “But you didn’t say…” moments, the saner you’ll stay.
3. Use Humor as a Weapon. Always.
If they argue that cereal is technically a soup, counter with: “Fine. Then by that logic, broccoli is candy because it’s colorful. Let’s eat five bowls.”
Humor throws them off their debate rhythm and takes the heat out of the argument. Instead of locking horns, you turn the moment into a laugh—reminding them (and yourself) that raising kids isn’t just about rules and routines, it’s about enjoying the absurd little battles along the way.
4. Pick Your Battles (Especially After 8 p.m.)
Every parent has a cutoff point. Mine is 8:07 p.m. After that, if they want to wear a cape to bed and call themselves Captain Snack-o-tron, so be it. We all need sleep.
At some point, your sanity and sleep are worth more than proving a point. Raising kids means knowing when to stand firm and when to let the small stuff slide—because tomorrow’s courtroom drama will start all over again at breakfast.
5. Remember: This Stage In Raising Kids Is a Gift in Disguise
Annoying? Yes. Exhausting? Totally. But behind every dramatic sigh and overanalyzed bedtime rule is a child learning to think critically, test boundaries, and discover their voice. They’re practicing skills they’ll one day use to stand up for themselves in the real world—even if right now it’s just to negotiate for five more minutes of screen time with Harper’s Magical Adventures. And that’s beautiful… even when it comes wrapped in sass and a side of eye-rolls.
So hang in there, mom. You’re doing better than you think. And hey, if you need a break, any storybooks here on Harbeny Books for your teen might just buy you 10 minutes of peace. I’d recommend anyone of the Animal Tales category. If not, the site Parents.com can be a blessing.
Chocolate helps too.